{"id":675,"date":"2023-12-13T12:50:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-13T11:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/?p=675"},"modified":"2023-12-13T12:50:01","modified_gmt":"2023-12-13T11:50:01","slug":"a-love-letter-to-withdrawers%e2%9d%a3%ef%b8%8f%e2%9d%a3%ef%b8%8f%e2%9d%a3%ef%b8%8f","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/blog\/2023\/12\/13\/a-love-letter-to-withdrawers%e2%9d%a3%ef%b8%8f%e2%9d%a3%ef%b8%8f%e2%9d%a3%ef%b8%8f\/","title":{"rendered":"A Love Letter to Withdrawers\u2763\ufe0f\u2763\ufe0f\u2763\ufe0f"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A Love Letter to Withdrawers\u2763\ufe0f\u2763\ufe0f\u2763\ufe0f<\/h1><\/div>\r\n\r\n\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/div>\r\n\t\t
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\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t
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Dear Withdrawer,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you are in my office – at the beginning and terrified to be there, assuming this is all about figuring out how to fix you – I want you to know, I know. I know it\u2019s a big deal for you to go to therapy. I know you would never come on your own. I know you\u2019re here because you love your person so much. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You fidget on the couch. Take sips of water. You constantly look at your partner as if to say, \u201cDid I get the right answer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you first break, I see your eyes. You\u2019re surprised at your own emotion. Afraid of it even. This is the thing you promised yourself you would never do. Be out of control. Weak. Not have answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then you feel some relief. And that surprises you too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then you try to figure out what just happened so you can recreate it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know I need to keep pursuing you in a non-pursuer way. I know you\u2019re desperate to be found – but you have no words for that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re like a deer in the woods. When you come out, everyone is nervous to make a wrong move – you\u2019re so beautiful and we want you to stay. We want to see you as long as possible. But we also know you need to feel safe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to feel safe to feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so, up to logic and analyzing you go. I\u2019ll go there too. I\u2019ll go there with you. I hope you can see my smile and my eyes. I want you to know – you don\u2019t have to change at all.

It\u2019s more of you <\/em>we want – not less or different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re here – really here – it\u2019s sacred. There\u2019s a clearing, and the sun shines through the trees. You and your partner, hand in hand. Equals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a relief. Now there\u2019s two of you. No more hiding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With Affection,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your Pursuer Therapist<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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December 13th 2023<\/mark><\/p>\n\n\n\n

text: Kelly Bourque picture: future kiiid<\/mark><\/mark><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kelly Bourque is certified by ICEEFT EFT Therapist and Supervisor, she is offering a subscription to SUPERPOWER ALLIANCE<\/a>, breaking down interventions in bite-sized learning chunks. You\u2019ve probably seen her videos about it. She would love to have you join her!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Love Letter to Withdrawers\u2763\ufe0f\u2763\ufe0f\u2763\ufe0f Dear Withdrawer, When you are in my office – at the beginning and terrified to be there, assuming this is all about figuring out how to fix you – I want you to know, I know. I know it\u2019s a big deal for you to go to therapy. I know […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":676,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bez-kategorii"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=675"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/675\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":677,"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/675\/revisions\/677"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mentalia.pl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}