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Thanks to the generosity of EFT Balkans, on September 5–6, 2025, Barbara Sławik had the opportunity to take part in a unique two-day workshop, “Don’t Bleed in Front of Sharks”, dedicated to working with escalation and emotional reactivity in couple therapy within the EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) approach. Each of us, as couple therapists, needs such experiences – to recharge our batteries 🔋, broaden our perspective 🌍, and strengthen our ability to remain present in the most demanding moments with clients.
The training focused on what happens in a relationship when, instead of closeness, anger, withdrawal, or irony appear, and a partner turns from a safe haven into a “shark.” What lies beneath these reactive emotions – anger, aggression, withdrawal, silence – and beneath their “armor”: fear of rejection 💔, longing for closeness 🤝, or the pain of hurt.
Participants learned how to recognize and navigate reactivity cycles, how to work with both active and passive defenses, how to slow the process down 🕊️ and open space for authentic emotions – so that step by step the couple can be guided toward the first zone of safety and de-escalation.
The workshop also explored working with different strategies of the Pursuer and the Withdrawer (more details 👉HERE), the challenges of emotionally engaging enactments – creating new emotional experiences in session – and reflections on how to stay within the “window of tolerance,” both for clients and for the therapist.
A great deal of attention was devoted to the therapist’s stance – not only their words, but also tone of voice 🎶, breath 🌬️, gestures, and self-regulation. The therapist’s presence becomes the anchor ⚓ in the storm, giving the couple the sense that even in the hardest moments, it is possible to pause and meet in a new way.
A huge strength of the workshop was also Giulia Altera herself – an EFT trainer from Italy 🇮🇹, who shares her knowledge, passion, and rich clinical examples in an exceptionally accessible way. Learning from her is a true pleasure – she combines deep therapeutic wisdom, humor, and great authenticity. This makes even the most complex topics feel close and practical.
Barbara returns from this training with new inspirations ✨ and fresh energy ⚡ for her work with clients and supervisees. As she emphasizes, such experiences are not only an investment in therapeutic skills, but also in inner balance 🧘♀️ and the ability to accompany clients in the most intense moments of their emotional journeys.
